A Cup, Two Spoons, and a
On that day before going to Dar Al-Salam, we spoke at home for about an hour. We
spoke a lot, and I asked him: "What is the type of woman whom you would like to
be your partner in life?"
He answered: "I had always asked Allah for my fate to be [with] a woman who can
live a very humble life with me."
I asked him: "And how do you see a humble life?"
He answered: "It is humble through being satisfied with the least means of
sustenance; a cup, two spoons, and a cooking pot."
I smiled. He became still in his spot and asked me: "Why did you smile?"
I said: "Because I have the same view as yours."
He asked: "How?"
I answered him: "I hardly thought of marriage but when it [came to my mind] I
used to ask Allah to grant me a person who has ethics and faith. I used to tell
myself that if it came to be then I would be in harmony with him- whatever our
life circumstances [and] even if we didn’t have [anything] except a few
utensils: Two spoons, a cup, and a cooking pot."
I knew then that he was that person whom I had wished to be my fate. To me, his
words were very striking: "Two spoons, a cup, and a cooking pot" because I had
previously said those same words to myself. I had the same belief.
The first day in our marital life didn’t last more than half a day. He went to
Tehran at noon approximately and he returned home after a week. He remained for
a day and then he left again for two weeks, then for three weeks, and so on.
He remained like this until March. His absence would sometimes take as long as a
month or more, and his stay with me wouldn’t [last] for more than two days.
In many times when he would intend to stay for a day, it would turn to half a
day. He definitely had work in those times, and if he didn’t have work he
wouldn’t remain for more than a day.
He would always tell us that he was coming. We didn’t have a telephone at home
so he would call his mother and she would tell me of his coming. When he used to
come, he would go to see his mother then he would come to see me.
I didn’t know the type of task he undertook, but I knew that it was dangerous
When he would come to Kashan to see me whenever he had the chance, I would feel
very much indebted to him. His ethics were in such a way that would increase my
feeling of indebtedness.
When he went the second time, his absence lasted for two or three weeks. When he
came, he bowed his head and said: "Pardon."
From his appearance, it seemed that he was saying it from the depths of his
heart. I felt panicked and asked: "What are you apologizing for?"
He said: "Because I left you alone all this time."
This was his habit with my parents. He would apologize to them because he
couldn’t visit their daughter much. They became fond of Abbas to the extent that
I was fond of him, and their love and attachment to him increased due to [his]
conduct which they used to see.
This politeness and humbleness were a part of his personality. One day when we
were out together searching in one street for someone's address, I said to him:
"Ask those boys."
He immediately said: "What?"
I was surprised because my sentence was clear with no ambiguity. I said: "Don’t
you want to find the address?"
He said: "Yes."
I said: "Fine, ask those boys."
He said: "Those are not boys. They consider themselves to be men. If [only] you
knew what [individuals] of their age do at the front."
After this, and with all due respect he called that same group which I had
described as "boys" and asked them about the address.
Many of our relatives hadn't attended our [marriage] contract [ceremony], and
Abbas hadn’t seen them before or become acquainted with them. Sometimes when we
would go out in the car and I would see some relatives on the street, I would
say to Abbas: "This is my aunt's son in law". He would park the car immediately,
get out of it and approach [him] and greet him with respect and ask him about
The small number of Abbas's vacations posed a major dilemma for me. I wanted to
solve this problem in any way. I don’t remember exactly how much time had
elapsed [since] our marriage when I broached [to my] family the issue of going
with Abbas to the border regions and living there. I remember well that my
father objected to this issue vehemently. He used to say: "Life in the border
regions is very tough, especially for strangers. I can't bear for my daughter to
live [in] such difficulties."
But I wanted with all my heart to spend more time with Abbas. I no longer
thought about difficulties and such [matters], and even despite my father's
objection about going, I resolved to go, but I knew that in the end it was up to
Abbas. Abbas also wanted to take me there with him. I thought that no problem
faced us, but when Abbas found out about my father's refusal he said: "Let's
wait till he accepts."
We waited until the month of Bahman of that year, and I used to broach the issue
of going now and then. Once, and perhaps to solve this issue once and for all,
my brother said: "You know Zahraa, my father is very sensitive toward your
departure. Why are you insisting so much?"
After that, he demanded from me decisively to stay in Kashan and to continue my
life just like the previous months.
I said: "I will stay my brother, but under [one] condition."
He said: "What is it?"
I said: "If you and Father can insure that Abbas will come back alive after
every one of his departures to the front, then I will stay in Kashan for ten
years in the manner that you are saying."
This proof and condition were like the water which extinguished the fire. They
had nothing more to say.
On the first telephone call, I told Abbas [about it]. He thanked Allah and said:
"Then I will prepare a home in this area and you prepare to come when possible."