16- His Supplication in Asking for Release from Sins

His Supplication when he Asked Release from his Sins or Pleaded in Seeking Pardon for his Defects O God, O He through whose Mercy sinners seek aid! O He to the remembrance of whose beneficence the distressed flee! O He in fear of whom the offenders weep! O Comfort of every lonely stranger! O Relief of all who are downcast and distressed! O Aid of everyone abandoned and alone! O Support of every needy outcast! Thou art He who 'embracest everthing in mercy and knowledge!' Thou art He who hast appointed for each creature a share of Thy favours! Thou art He whose pardon is higher than His punishment! Thou art He whose mercy runs before His wrath! Thou art He whose bestowal is greater than His withholding! Thou art He by whose mercy all creatures are embraced! Thou art He who desires no repayment by him upon whom He bestows! Thou art He who does not overdo the punishment of him who disobeys Thee! And I, my God, am Thy servant whom Thou commanded to supplicate and who said : I am at Thy service and disposal! Here am I, my Lord, thrown down before Thee. I am he whose back offenses have weighed down! I am he whose lifetime sins have consumed! I am he who was disobedient in his ignorance, while Thou didst not deserve that from him! Wilt Thou, my God, be merciful toward him who supplicates Thee, that I should bring my supplication before Thee? Wilt Thou forgive him who weeps to Thee that I should hurry to weep? Wilt Thou show forbearance toward him who puts his face in the dust before Thee in lowliness? Wilt Thou free from need him who complains to Thee of his indigent need with confidence? My God, disappoint not him who finds no bestower other than Thee, and abandon not him who connot be freed from his need for Thee through less than Thee! My God, so bless Muhammad and his Household, turn not away from me when I have turned my face toward Thee, deprive me not when I have besought Thee, and slap not my brow with rejection when I have stood before Thee! Thou art He who has described Himself by mercy, so bless Muhammad and his Household and have mercy upon me! Thou art He who has named Himself by pardon, so pardon me! Thou hast seen, my God, the flow of my tears in fear of Thee, the throbbing of my heart in dread of Thee, and the infirmity of my limbs in awe of Thee. All this from my shame before Thee because of my evil works! So my voice has become silent, no longer crying to Thee, and my tongue has gone dumb, no longer whispering in prayer. My God, so to Thee belongs praise! How many of my flaws Thou hast covered over without exposing me! How many of my sins Thou hast cloaked without making me notorious! How many faults I have committed, yet Thou didst not tear away from me their covering, collar me with their detested disgrace, or make their dishonour plain to those of my neighbours who search for my defects and to those who envy Thy favour toward me! But that did not prevent me from passing on to the evil that Thou knowest from me! So who is more ignorant than I, my God, of his own right conduct? Who is more heedless than I of his own good fortune? Who is further than I from seeking to set himself right? For I spend the provision Thou deliverest to me in the disobedience Thou hast prohibited to me! who sinks more deeply into falsehood and is more intensely audacious in evil than I? For I hesitate between Thy call and the call of Satan and then follow his call without being blind in my knowledge of him or forgetful in my memory of him, while I am certain that Thy call takes to the Garden and his call takes to the Fire! Glory be to Thee! How marvelous the witness I bear against my own soul and the enumeration of my own hidden affairs! And more marvelous than that is Thy lack of haste with me, Thy slowness in attending to me! That is not because I possess honour with Thee, but because Thou waitest patiently for me and art bountiful toward me that I may refrain from disobedience displeasing to Thee and abstain from evil deeds that disgrace me, and because Thou lovest to pardon me more than to punish! But I, my God, am more numerous in sins, uglier in footsteps, more repulsive in acts, more reckless in rushing into falsehood, weaker in awakening to Thy obedience, and less attentive and heedful toward Thy threats, than that I could number for Thee my faults or have the power to recount my sins. I only scold my own soul, craving Thy gentleness, through which the affairs of sinners are set right, and hoping for Thy mercy, through which the necks of the offenders are freed. O God, this is my neck, enslaved my sins, so bless Muhammad and his Household and release it through Thy pardon! This is my back, weighed down by offenses, so bless Muhammad and his Household and lighten it through Thy kindness! My God, were I to weep to Thee until my eyelids drop off, wail until my voice wears out, stand before Thee until my feet swell up, bow to Thee until my backbone is thrown out of joint, prostrate to Thee until my eyeballs fall out, eat the dirt of the earth for my whole life, drink the water of ashes till the end of my days, mention Thee through all of that until my tongue fails, and not lift my glance to the sky's horizons in shame before Thee, yet would I not merit through all of that the erasing of a single one of my evil deeds! Though Thou forgivest me when I merit Thy forgiveness and pardonest me when I deserve Thy pardon, yet I have no title to that through what I deserve, nor am I worthy of it through merit, since my repayment from Thee form the first that I disobeyed Thee is the Fire! So if Thou punishest me, Thou dost me no wrong. My God, since Thou hast shielded me with Thy covering and not exposed me, waited patiently for me through Thy generosity, and not hurried me to punishment, and shown me clemency through Thy bounty, and not changed Thy favour upon me or muddied Thy kindly acts toward me, have mercy on my drawn out pleading, my intense misery, and my evil situation! O God, bless Muhammad and his Household, protect me from acts of disobedience, employ me in obedience, provide me with excellent turning back (to Thee), purify me through repentance, strengthen me through preservation from sin, set me right through well-being, let me taste the sweetness of forgiveness, make me the freedman of Thy pardon and the slave released by Thy mercy, and write for me a security from Thy displeasure! Give me the good news of that in the immediate, not the deferred - a good news I recognize - and make known to me therein a sign which I may clearly see! That will not constrain Thee in Thy plenty, distress Thee in Thy power, ascend beyond Thy lack of haste, or tire Thee in Thy great gifts, which are pointed to by Thy signs. Verily Thou dost what Thou wilt, Thou decreest what Thou desirest. 'Thou art powerful over everything.'