32- His Supplication in the Night Prayer

32- His Supplication for himself in Confessing Sins after Finishing the Night Prayer O God, O Possessor of kingdom perpetual in everlastingness, authority invincible without armies or helpers, might abiding through aeons past, years gone by, times and days elapsed! Thy authority is mighty with a might that knows no bound by being first nor utmost end by being last! Thy kingdom towers high with a towering before which all things fall down without reaching its term; the least of it which Thou hast kept to Thyself is not reached by the furthest description of the describers! Attributes go astray in Thee, descriptions fall apart below Thee, the subtlest of imaginations are bewildered by Thy magnificence! So art Thou: God, the First in Thy firstness, and so art Thou everlastingly. Thou dost not pass away. But I am the slave, feeble in works, immense in hopes. The tying links are outside my hand, except what is tied by Thy mercy; the bonds of hopes have been cut away from me, except the pardon to which I hold fast. Little on my part is the obedience toward Thee upon which I count, and great against me the disobedience toward Thee to which I have reverted. But pardoning Thy slave will not constrain Thee, even if he be bad, so pardon me! O God, Thy knowledge watches over hidden works, every covered thing is exposed before Thy awareness, the intricacies of things are not concealed from Thee, and unseen mysteries slip not away from Thee. But over me Thy enemy has gained mastery: He asked a delay from Thee to lead me astray, and Thou gavest him the delay! He asked a respite from Thee until the Day of Doom to misguide me, and Thou gavest him the resite! So he threw me down, though I had fled to Thee from small, ruinous sins and great, deadly works, until, when I had yielded to disobeying Thee and merited Thy anger through my bad efforts, he turned the bridle of his treachery away from me, met me with the word of his ingratitude, undertook to be quit of me, turned his back to flee from me, threw me to the desert of Thy wrath alone, and sent me as an outcast into the courtyard of Thy vengeance. There is no intercessor to intercede for me with Thee, no protector to make me feel secure against Thee, no fortress to veil me from Thee, no shelter in which to seek asylum apart from Thee! This is the station of him who takes refuge with Thee, the place of the confessor to Thee: Let not Thy bounty be too narrow for me, let not Thy pardon fall short of me! Let me not be the most disappointed of Thy repentant servants, nor the most despairing of those who come to Thee with expectations! Forgive me, surely Thou art the best of the forgivers! O God, Thou commanded me, and I refrained, Thou prohibited me, and I committed. Evil thoughts tempted me to offend, and I was negligent. I cannot call upon daytime to witness my fasting, nor can I seek sanctuary in night because of my vigil; no 'sunna' praises me for keeping it alive, only Thy obligations, he who neglects which has perished. I cannot seek access to Thee through the excellence of a supererogatory work, given the many duties of Thy obligations of which I have been heedless and the stations of Thy bounds which I have transgressed, thereby violating sacred things and committing great sins, though Thou hast given me safety from their disgraces as a covering. This is the station of him who is ashamed of himself before Thee, angry with himself, and satisfied with Thee. He meets Thee with a humble soul, a neck bent down, a back heavy with offenses, hesitating between longing for Thee and fear of Thee. Thou art the most worthy of those in whom he might hope, the most deserving for him to dread and fear. So give me, my Lord, what I hope for, make me secure against what frightens me, and act kindly toward me with the kindly act of mercy! Surely Thou art the most generous of those from whom are asked! O God, since Thou hast covered me with Thy pardon and shielded me with Thy bounty in the abode of annihilation and the presence of equals, grant me sanctuary from the disgraces of the Abode of Subsistence at the standing places of the Witnesses (the angels brought nigh, the messengers honoured, the martyrs, the righteous) before the neighbour from whom I have hidden my evil deeds and the womb relative before whom I feel ashamed in my secret thoughts! I trust them not, my Lord, to cover me over, but I trust Thee, my Lord, to forgive me! Thou art the most worthy of those in whom confidence is had, the most giving of those who are besought, and the most clement of those from whom mercy is asked. So have mercy upon me! O God, Thou caused me to descend as mean water from loins of narrow bones and tight passages into a constricted womb which Thou hadst covered with veils; Thou turned me about from state to state until Thou tookest me to the completion of the form and fixed within me the bodily parts, as Thou hast described in Thy Book: a drop, then a clot, then a tissue, then bones, then Thou garmented the bones with flesh, then Thou produced me as another creature as Thou willed. Then, when I needed Thy provision, and could not do without the aid of Thy bounty, Thou appointed for me a nourishment from the bounty of the food and drink which Thou bestowed upon Thy handmaid in whose belly Thou gavest me to rest and in the lodging of whose womb Thou deposited me. Hadst Thou entrusted me in those states, my Lord, to my own force or driven me to have recourse to my own strength, force would have been removed from me and strength taken far away. So Thou hast fed me through Thy bounty with the food of the Good, the Gentle; Thou hast done that for me in graciousness toward me up to this my present point. I do not lack Thy goodness, nor does Thy benefaction keep me waiting. Yet with all that, my trust has not become firm enough that I might free myself for that which is more favoured by Thee. Satan has taken possession of my reins through my distrust and frail certainty. I complain of his evil neighbourhood with me and my soul's obedience toward him! I ask Thee to preserve me against his domination, and I plead with Thee to turn his trickery away from me! I ask Thee to make the path to my provision easy, since to Thee belongs praise for Thy beginning with immense favours and Thy inspiring gratitude for beneficence and bestowing favour! Bless Muhammad and his Household, and make the way to my provision easy for me! (I ask Thee) to make me content with Thy ordainment for me, to make me satisfied with my lot in that which Thou hast apportioned for me and to place what has gone of my body and my life-span into the path of Thy obedience! Surely Thou art the Best of providers! O God, I seek refuge in Thee from the Fire through which Thou art harsh toward him who disobeys Thee and by which Thou hast threatened him who turns away from Thy good pleasure; from the Fire whose light is darkness, whose ease is pain, and whose far is near; from the Fire parts of which devour parts and parts of which leap upon parts; from the Fire which leaves bones decayed and lets its people drink boiling water; from the Fire which 'does not spare him who pleads to it', has no mercy on him who seeks sympathy from it, and has no power to relieve him who humbles himself before it and yields himself to it; it meets its inhabitants with the hottest that it possesses: painful punishment and intense noxiousness. I seek refuge in Thee from its gaping-jawed scorpions, its scraping-toothed serpents, and its drinks, which tear apart the intestines and hearts of its inhabitants and root out their marrows. I ask guidance from Thee to that which will keep far from it and make it retreat! O God, bless Muhammad and his Household, grant me sanctuary from it through the bounty of Thy mercy, release me from my stumbles through Thy good releasing, and abandon me not, O Best of the sanctuary-granters! O God, Thou protectest from the disliked, givest the good, dost what Thou wilt, and 'Thou art powerful over everything'. O God, bless Muhammad and his Household when the pious are mentioned and bless Muhammad and his Household as long as night and day come and go with a blessing whose replenishment is never cut off and whose number cannot be counted, a blessing that will fill up the air and crowd the earth and the heaven! God bless him until he is well pleased and God bless him and his Household after good pleasure with a blessing that has neither bound nor utmost limit! O Most Merciful of the merciful!