51- His Supplication Pleading and Abasement

51- His Supplication in Pleading and Abasement My God, I praise Thee, - and Thou art worthy of praise - for Thy benefaction toward me, the lavishness of Thy favours toward me, and Thy plentiful bestowal upon me, and for showing bounty toward me through Thy mercy and lavishing Thy favour upon me. Thou hast done well toward me and I am incapable of thanking Thee. Were it not for Thy beneficence toward me and the lavishness of Thy favours upon me, I would not have reached the taking of my share nor would my soul have been set right, but Thou began with beneficence toward me, provided me sufficiency in all my affairs, turned away from me the toil of affliction, and held back from me the feared decree. My God, how many a toilsome affliction which Thou hast turned away from me! How many a lavish favour with which Thou hast gladdened my eye! How many a generous benefaction of Thine which is present with me! It is Thou who responded to my supplication at the time of distress, released me from my slip in stumbling, and took my enemies to ask for doing wrong to me. My God, I did not find Thee a miser when I asked of Thee nor a withholder when I desired from Thee. No, I found Thee a hearer of my supplication and a bestower of my requests; I found Thy favours toward me lavish in my every situation and in my every time. So Thou art praised by me and Thy benefaction honoured. My soul, my tongue, and my intelligence praise Thee, a praise that reaches fulfillment and the reality of thanksgiving, a praise that attains to Thy good pleasure with me - so deliver me from Thy displeasure! O my cave when the ways thwart me! O He who releases me from my stumble! Were it not for Thy covering my shameful defects, I would be one of the disgraced. O my confirmer through help! Were it not for Thy helping me, I would be one of the overcome! O He before whom kings place the yoke of lowliness around their necks, fearing His penalties! O worthy of reverent fear! O He 'to whom belong the names most beautiful'! I ask Thee to pardon me and to forgive me, for I am not innocent that I should offer excuses, nor a possessor of strength that I should gain victory, nor have I any place of flight that I should flee! I ask Thee to release me from my stumbles, and before Thee I disavow my sins, which have laid me waste, encompassed me, and destroyed me! I flee from them to Thee, my Lord, turning repentantly, so turn toward me, seeking refuge, so grant me refuge, asking sanctuary, so abandon me not, requesting, so deprive me not, holding fast, so leave me not, supplicating, so send me not back disappointed! I have supplicated Thee, my Lord, as one miserable, abased, apprehensive, fearful, quaking, poor, driven to have recourse to Thee! I complain to Thee, my God, of my soul - which is too weak to hurry to that which Thou hast promised Thy friends or to avoid that against which Thou hast cautioned Thy enemies - and of the multitude of my concerns, and of my soul's confusing thoughts. My God, Thou hast not disgraced me through my secret thoughts or destroyed me because of my misdeeds! I call upon Thee, and Thou respondest, even if I am slow when Thou callest upon me. I ask Thee everything I want of my needs, and I deposit with Thee my secret wherever I may be. I supplicate no one besides Thee, and I hope for no one other than Thee. At Thy service! At Thy service! Thou hearest him who complains to Thee! Thou receivest him who has confidence in Thee! Thou savest him who holds fast to Thee! Thou givest relief to him who seeks shelter in Thee! My God, so deprive me not of the good of the last world and the first because of the paucity of my thanksgiving and forgive me the sins of mine which Thou knowest! If Thou chastisest, I am the wrongdoer, the neglecter, the negligent, the sinner, the derelict, the sluggard, the heedless of the share of my soul! And if Thou forgivest - Thou art the Most Merciful of the merciful!