The Third Phase (14- 21 years)

After the first and second phases, the child turns fourteen years old and at then, adolescence starts. This age is characterized by many features on the psychological and intellectual levels like:

- A young man aims strongly to freedom and independence; he wants to fulfill his duties without others’ interference and to make his own decisions. He doesn’t feel the need of grownups’ or parents’ opinions about his dangerous decisions like quitting school and changing his major, etc.

- At this age, talents explode and they need to be developed in the right ways: if a young man has the talent of poetry or sports, this latent must be guided so that it doesn’t go the wrong way.

- This phase is characterized by introducing the most dangerous changes like the effervescence of instincts: the instinct of ability, the instinct of control and the instinct of reproduction.

In this case, we must pay attention to the threats that this youth phase exposes, because this phase is the crossway in life: a man chooses through it to take the path of guidance or to stray away until he’s lost in the roads of adultery and loss.

Islam guided us to some instructions for this phase, some of them are:

1- Passing the Experiences to the Young Man

The best example we can shed the light on in this case is the Prince of Believers (p.b.u.h) and his son Imam Al-Hassan (p.b.u.h). From his (p.b.u.h) to his son (p.b.u.h):
“I taught you the ethics before your heart indurates and your mind gets busy with searching the facts that the people of experiences have already proved. At then, you are saved from the hardship of searching and healed from the suffering of experience.”

The experience that must be transferred to the young man has a deep impact on ensuring his happiness as it reveals the real aspect of some issues and shred the covers of illusions and wrong perceptions.

Every experience opens in Man’s heart a door of science and brings him a step closer to the truth. Imam Ali (p.b.u.h) said:
“There is a beginning of a new science in experiences.”

2- Studying Islamic Jurisprudence

At this age the child reaches puberty so he must understand the divine obligations that are laid on his shoulders. Imam Al-Kazem (p.b.u.h) said: “If I find a Shiite young man who is not studying jurisprudence, I would give him one beat with the sword.” The expression of beating with the sword shows the importance of jurisprudence in the phase of youth.

Moreover, learning the judgments of religion and understanding the aims of Islam provide the right goal for a young man, so he is not left a victim for the soul’s illusions, the scruples of thoughts and perverted currents without any guidance and this would make him lost.

3- Guidance to the Right Role-Model

The right role-model for a young man is the key for a clear vision in the roads of future. On the other hand, a bad role-model is the one that drifts the young man into the valleys of ignorance and perversion.

We often find publicity and media sources trying to introduce role-models that will waste the real goals for a young man, away from the real idols presented in The Most Honorable Messenger and His Household (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Them).

Therefore, parents must always pay attention to their children and guide them towards the right role-model within the appropriate way that renders this model the choice of the young man as well as his outer and inner direction.

4- Leading Young Men to the Real Youthful Life (Or Early Manhood)

The title of youthful life, strength and the love of power in young men, reaches its highest level in this age phase. Youthful life is a matter of great importance for them.

The role of parents in this field appears in explaining to their children that the real youth life does not reside in the greatness of arms, in the width of the shoulders nor in their strength. However, it resides in a clear conscience and a faithful heart and this is the meaning that The Prophet’s Household (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Them) to understand. In a version, The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) passed by people who were lifting a big stone, so He asked: “What’s that? Why are you doing this?”

They answered: “So that we know the strongest and the toughest among us.”
- Do you want me to tell you who is the strongest and toughest among you?
- Yes, O Messenger of Allah!
- The strongest and toughest of you is the one who if he is consent, his contentment doesn’t lead him to sins and false; if he is angry, his anger doesn’t prevent him from saying the right thing; and who doesn’t interfere in others’ business even if he could.”

With following these steps and other ones, we guide the young man to the real and right goal and this is the straight behavior through which he becomes a good element for his society and reforms the depravities in the world. As a result, this young man is one the most loveable creatures to Allah (all praised). The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said:

“The most loveable creatures to Allah (all praised), a young man with a beautiful face who made his youth and beauty for the sake of Allah and in his obedience. This is the one that Allah boasts about him to the Angels and says: this is truly my slave.”

Conclusion

A child is a blessing from Allah (all praised) on us and He (all praised) also blessed us with guiding us to the ways of raising this child. He (all praised) only left for us the light of his guidance and through following the lead of Prophets and pure Imams who are the greatest educators for humanity, hoping we succeed in making Man with every meaning for the word. We want to make an obedient slave who knows his God, understands his goal, walks in the land reforming depravities and builds for his hereafter.

If a person could raise his children in the Islamic way, then goodness would fill in the countries and corruption will weaken. We ask Allah (all praised) to help us in fulfilling our children’s rights and make us worthy His saying:

{O People who Believe! Save yourselves and your families from the fire, the fuel of which is men and stones – appointed over it are the extremely strict angels, who do not refuse the command of Allah and carry out whatever they are commanded.} (Surat Al- Tahrim; 6).

We ask Him what the ones who believed in Him and His versions before us asked:
{…Our Lord, soothe our eyes with our wives and our children, and make us leaders of the pious.} (Surat Al-Furqan; 74).

All Praises to Allah, Lord of All the Worlds.