Filial Obedience

The Most High God says, ﴾And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning (hear the command), “Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal.” ?¹

From Luqman’s recommendations to his son is his recommendation with filial obedience and being good to parents. This recommendation is so significant that The Most High God mentions it in His Book on the tongue of Wise Luqman. The noble verses about the filial obedience and about the dutifulness of being good to them even if they are atheists recur in The Noble Qur'an.

Between Filial Obedience and Filial Disobedience

Filial disobedience is considered to be from the great sins which God threatened those committing it with the torture of fire.

It is related in the discourse ascribed to Imam Abou Abdullah Jaafar Al-Sadik (God’s peace bestowed upon him) that he said, “God will not accept the prayer of he who looks at his parents with hatred even if they are unjust with him.”²

Disobedience

The Least Filial Disobedience

The Most High God says, ﴾…say not to them a word of contempt, not repel them, but address them in terms of honor﴿³ It is related that Imam Al-Sadik (God’s peace bestowed upon him) said, “The least filial disobedience is the word ‘Ugh’. And had there been what is still least, The Most Glorious and Reverent God would have forbidden it.”⁴

What Is Filial Obedience For?

Wise Luqman justifies in the above mentioned verse and mentions one of the important causes that impose the filial obedience and being good with the parents till the end of their lifetimes.

From these causes is that The Most Glorified and High God created the human being and descended him to this world through a special container which suits the nature of his physical, spiritual, and emotional composition. So that the human being will come to this life, he must pass through a womb which protects and nourishes him in a very special way. Otherwise, his existence will be spoiled, and he will not come to this life.

The human being starts as a sperm; and then he is transformed into a clot of congealed blood, and then into a lump, and then into bones. Then, The Most High God covers the bones with flesh and develops him into another creature: Blessed be God, The Best Creator!!

All these phases take place in the womb of the mother while she carries the child within her and bears the tiredness and hardship, so that her pregnancy will not be harmed. After that, God processes for him from her breast a nutrition which suits his weakness and nature. Otherwise, he will die; so God made his sustenance from his mother only and not from any other place.

This is, of course, an obvious sign to that the sustenance is decreed by God and to that it is absolutely not in the hands of the mankind. Look at the sustenance of the new born processing without the favor of anyone.

Anyhow, the mother takes charge of protecting her newborn, and the father takes care of both of them and aims, through his laborious work, at providing for them all the means of comfort and happiness. So, do not they deserve to be thanked?!

The Dues of the Parents

It is related that Imam Zein Al-Abideen (God’s peace bestowed upon him) said, “God’s greatest due on you is to worship Him and not to join any partner to Him. If you do this sincerely, God makes it a due on Himself to make you satisfied as regards this life and the hereafter.”

He (God’s peace bestowed upon him) also said, “As regards your mother’s due on you, it is to know that she carried you where no one carries anyone; that she gave you from the fruit of her heart what nobody gives anyone; that she protected you with all her organs; that she did not care that she got hungry yet fed you; that she got thirsty yet quenched you; that she got naked yet covered you; that she got under the sun yet shaded you; that she forsook the sleep for your sake; and that she protected you from the heat and the cold, so that you would be for her. You will not be able to thank her unless by God’s Help and Successfulness.”

“As regards your father’s due on you, it is to know that he is your origin. Had it not been for him, you would not have been. Regardless of how pleased you are with yourself, bear in mind that your father is the origin of the grace. So, praise God and thank Him for this. There is no Power but in God.”⁵

The Exchanged Dues

The sacred religion considers the social relationships inside the family and their harmony. It also made the dues exchanged i.e. as the parents have dues on the child, the child has also dues on the parents as is related in Imam Al-Sadik’s (God’s peace bestowed upon him) discourse: “Three things are dutiful on the child towards his parents: thanking them anyway; obeying their orders and forbiddances except in case of disobedience; and advising them secretly and openly. Likewise, three things are dutiful on the father towards his child: choosing his mother; giving him a good name; and well disciplining him.”⁶

The Fruits of Filial Obedience and Being Good with Them

1* Successfulness to Repentance: One man came to The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) and said to him, “O God’s prophet! There is nothing abominated but I have done. Is there any repentance for me?” He (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) asked him, “Is there still any of your parents alive?” That man answered, “Yes, my father [is still alive].” Here, he (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said to him, “Go and be good with him.” When the man went away, The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, “Had it been his mother!”⁷

2* Lengthily Lifetime and Abundant Sustenance: It is related that The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, “He who likes that his lifetime be lengthened and that his sustenance be abundant, let him be filially obedient to his parents because to be filially obedient to them is a part of being obedient to God.”⁸

3* God’s Pleasure Lies in the Parents’ Pleasure: It is related that God’s prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, “O Ali! God’s Complete Pleasure lies in the parents’ pleasure and God’s Wrath lies in their wrath.” He (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) also said, “It is said to the one who is filially disobedient, ‘Do whatever you want: I am not going to forgive you.’ And it is said to the one who is filially obedient, ‘Do whatever you want: I am going to forgive you.’”⁹

4* Easing the Agonies of Death: It is related that Imam Jaafar Al-Sadik (God’s peace bestowed upon him) said, “He who likes that The Most Glorious and Reverent God ease the agonies of his death, let him keep connections with his kins and be filially obedient to his parents. Then, God will ease for him the agonies of death, and he will never be poor throughout his life.”

The Affection Relationships and Their Role in Man’s Life

From the great graces which God bestowed upon the human being is that He made for him a series of affection relationships which guarantee for him the continuity of his life.

When the human being is born and brought to this life, he is poor and needy and can be independent in doing nothing. As regards all his needs i.e. food, drinking, and clothing, he needs his parents in order to provide for him all the means of comfort and happiness and in order to supply him with the requirements of life. The Most Glorified and High God, therefore, made a special affection to him from his parents, an affection which he can find in nobody else at all.

So is his case when he reaches the end of his lifetime and becomes weak after having been endowed with power, youth, health, and soundness. Then, he also needs a supporter and a helper because he gets back to weakness and feebleness after the ability having been taken from him. Here arises the role of the children to pay even some of their parents’ due on them. And God also made a special affection to the parents from the children, an affection with which the child loves his parents and does not forsake them even in the most difficult conditions. This is so except for rare cases in which the human being forsakes his humanity, principles, values, and religion. Here, the child lives from the very start the case of family dissolution, as is the case in the west where the government is obliged to establish the nursing and educating centers during the childhood period in addition to the aged centers during the old age period.

For Reading

Respecting the Mother

Ouways Al-Qarni, one of the people of Yaman, used to ardently love God’s prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household). His yearning to visit The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) was intense, yet he had an old aged mother whom he was unable to go away from.

One day, he asked his mother’s permission to visit The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household). When she saw his persistence mixed with yearning, she said to him, “I permit you under the condition that you do not stay in Al-Madina more than half a day.”

Ouways agreed on his mother’s condition and moved towards Al-Madina. When he arrived there, he at once asked for God’s prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household), so that he would not waste time. One man told him that God’s prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) was out of the town and that he would not be back till sunset. Ouways got sad due to the tiredness and hardship he had suffered and due to the frustrating end; for he, having agreed on his mother’s condition not to stay there more than half a day, was unable to wait for God’s prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) to be back. He got back to Yaman gloomy, sad, and heart broken.

When The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) was back to Al-Madina, he asked, “What is this light shining in the house?” He was answered, “One nomad, named Ouways, came from Yaman and wanted to meet you, yet he was unable to wait, so he went back.”

When The Prophet (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) heard so, he said, “Yes, Ouways visited our house and presented us with this light.” Then, he (God’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, “The fragrance of the heaven is blowing from Yaman. How yearning to you, Ouways, I am! He who meets him, let him deliver my greetings to him.”

1- The Noble Qur'an/ Luqman Chapter/ Verse 14
2- Ousoul Al-Kafi [The Principles of the Sufficient]/ Volume Two/ Part Five/ Page 334/ Filial
3- The Noble Qur'an/ Al-Israa [The Journey during the Night] Chapter/ Verse 23
4- Ousoul Al-Kafi [The Principles of the Sufficient]/ Volume One/ Part One/ Filial Disobedience
5- Makarem Al-Akhlaq [The Loftiest Morals]/ Page 421
6- Bihar Al-Anwar [The Seas of Lights]/ Part Seventy Eight
7- Yanabeeaa Al-Hekma [The Fountains of Wisdom] Volume Five/ Part Twenty Six/ Page 338
8- Yanabeeaa Al-Hekma/ Part Five
9- Jame’a Al-Akhbar [The Collective of News]/ page 8