Imam Khamenei's Counsel to Husbands

Memories & Anecdotes1

The entire domains and spheres of a religious man- a man who works in the path of Allah- should be divine.

The entire domains and spheres of a religious man- a man who works in the path of Allah- should be divine. One of these spheres is the relationship with the family, especially with the wife and children. You should be the manifestation of ethics. Perhaps a small incident outside of the home might make you angry, but inside the house this anger should not appear.

Be fathers to your children, don't be strangers with them. Communicate with your children and treat them with friendship and fatherhood. The best fathers are those who befriend their sons and daughters. Even though they display dignity, guidance, fatherly direction, and love, they also [have] the loyalty of a friend.

Specify hours from the time of your constant work and from rest-periods for your family. Pour from your love, care, attention, and emotion upon your wife and children. You should be the role model.
Your wives are your partners. If they are not in harmony with you, you should not remain idle…Speak with them about the knowledge and science you know. Encourage them to [perform] prayer and supplication.

I have constantly counseled friends, and I also counsel you repeatedly: Specify time for your children, and know that due to the luminosity and clarity which is present in their hearts, youths will accept your words.

My dears, understand your youths. Understand your wives. Specify time for them. This is very important. Give your youths care and give them [portions] of your time. Don't return tired to your homes. When you return exhausted and with no energy and your children appear, you will meet them with scowling and carelessness. This isn't right.

Fix this matter [starting] from tonight. There isn't any chance for hesitation.

Take care of the awareness of your children and your wives. Pay attention to that. Communicate with your children. Feel compassion for your wives and aid them. This lady should truly feel that you value her efforts.

My fatherly counsel to you is:
-To regard the issue of organization in your homes with wisdom and full awareness
-To treat your family members with wisdom and compassion
-To be present with the family as much as possible
-To have purity, sincerity, and care
-And not to be careless and glum the entire time.
[You are in charge of] this heavy responsibility and you should carry it out.

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