The Pre-Delivery

Bringing up a child is not limited to understating the adequate way to deal carefully with him and his special tendencies. Education in Islam starts before marriage then passes by the phase of choosing the wife and after that the special circumstances in which a woman is conceived, and after the phases of pregnancy and delivery, the actual education starts.

The first chapter will be dedicated to the points that must be noticed before delivering a baby: from choosing a wife, pregnancy and finally delivering a baby.

1- Choosing a Wife

A mother plays a major role in forming the child’s personality as genome has a big effect in carrying the good or bad characteristics. From this point, a man must be really careful when choosing the clean container to put in his sperm that will become later an individual with a role and an important rank in society. Because finding the right wife is a hard task, Islam alerted us towards the importance of asking Allah (all praised) for help to make the right choice. Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) said:

“If you want to choose a wife perform a prayer of two Rakaats (prostrations), praise Allah (thank Him) (all praised) and say:

‘O, Allah! I want to marry so choose for me a woman who is the most continent of all women, who preserves herself and my money, for whom Allah Brings me good provisions and who is the most blessed. O, Allah! Send me from her a good child and make him a good successor in my life and after my death.”

On the other hand, great Islam helped men with defining the basic characteristics that must be found in the wife. The most important of them is religiosity, as The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said:

“He who marries a woman for her beauty only, he won’t find in her what he loves. He who marries her for her money, Allah does not look at him (and he is stuck with the material world); so choose the religious one.”

Don’t Marry These:

Islam warned men from choosing certain types of women to protect the container from negative influences on the future born and versions have mentioned this matter too:

A- The Beautiful With a Bad Origin:

Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) said:
The Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said:
“Never marry the one with a deceptive appearance.”
So he was asked: “What does that mean?”
The Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him, and his Household) said: “The pretty woman from a bad descent.”

B- The Fool:

The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said: “Never marry from a fool, her company is a loss and her son is a coward.”

A fool is not only incapable of preserving her husband, but also she can’t preserve her children and raise them properly.

Therefore, Islam made sure to purify the conditions in which a child will live from any impurity and in this case, Islam invited us to check the conduct of the wife’s brothers- the child’s uncles- because the characteristics of an uncle can be transferred to the child and this is what some versions have focused on. The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said:

“Choose the good wife (to have children with), for the uncle inherits his characteristics to his nephew.”

2- The Special Manners Before Conceiving:

A- The Appropriate Food for the Father:

The food quality from which the sperm of a baby is tied has a certain effect on him and some versions referred to this, likewise the one that says that (Lady) Khadija (p.b.u.h) got pregnant with (Lady) Al-Zahra’ (p.b.u.h) after Angel Gabriel had brought food from heaven to The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) and told him: “O, Mohammad! Your God orders you to break your fasting tonight with this food.”

Moreover, Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) said: “He who eats a quince on an empty stomach, his sperm will improve and he will have a good child.”

In another version, Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) looked at a beautiful boy and said: “This boy’s father must have eaten quince”, and said: “The quince beautifies the face and completes (strengthens) the heart.”

B- The Right Time for Pregnancy

Some versions talked about certain times in which it’s dislikeable to copulate, as Imam Abu Jaafar Al-Baker (p.b.u.h) was asked: “Is it dislikeable to copulate at some times?” So He (p.b.u.h) answered: “Yes! From the break of dawn until sunrise; from sunset until the absence of the twilight; the night the moon eclipses; the day and night of an earthquake; and when there is the yellow, black or red wind. The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) once slept at one of his wives the same night the moon eclipsed and He didn’t come near her. So when He went to His mosque, His wife asked Him: ‘O, Messenger of Allah! Why all this disaffection tonight?’ He (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) answered: ‘That wasn’t a disaffection, but there was that prodigy and I hated to have pleasure in it, so I become among those whom Allah talked about in His book:

{And were they to see a portion of the sky falling, they will say, “It is a heap of clouds.”} (Surat Al-Toor; 44).

Then Mohammad son of Ali (p.b.u.t) said: “I swear by The One Who sent Mohammad (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household), Who attributed Him with the message and Who elected with Honor, that anyone who copulates at any of these moments won’t have children that soothe his eyes.”

3- The Special Food During Pregnancy

The Appropriate Food for the Mother:

There are many special types of food for the mother that the honorable versions referred to:

A- Watermelon:

The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said: “Any pregnant woman who eats watermelon will have a baby with a beautiful face and good morals.”

B- Dairy:

The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said: “Give your pregnant women milk, as it increases the boy’s mind (develops it).”

C- Frankincense (Gum):

The gum is a material extracted from certain types of trees, chewed in the mouth and with a flavor like pine odor. It has many benefits and The Most Honorable Messenger (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and His Household) said: “Give your pregnant women gums, as it increases the boy’s mind (develops it).”