The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his Household):
“There is no dearest constitution in Islam to Allah (all praised) than
marriage.”
The Importance of the Marital Constitution
The Islamic vision deriving from the Book of Allah (all praised) and the Sunna
of the Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his Household) and his
Household (p.b.u.t) have clear signs that incite us for marriage and gives it an
excellent rank, even the most Honorable Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon
Him and his Household) said:
“There is no dearest constitution in Islam to Allah (all praised) than
marriage.”
As the Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his Household) followed
in his principles, duties and goals some guidelines presenting the necessities
of this world and in the hereafter where there is no monasticism in Islam, in
contrast to what the illusionists try to prove, a project was set to build a
great institution ran by the husband who will be later a father. In assistance,
comes the wife who soon to be a mother to rock the crib (of the baby) with her
right hand, and the world with her left one. A marriage is also a school where a
good generation grows up nurtured with principles and virtues on the basis of
the integration of roles and duties lying on the partners in order to place this
relationship on the right track. In this aim, this structure must be founded on
devotion which is only done when both partners are aware of the other’s rights,
the limits of their relationship and the manners they must adopt. Dear Islam did
not leave any absurd detail and clarified all the elements related to marriage,
in a way that leaves no excuse to the violator.
Marriage is a legitimate bond that relates a man to a woman, preserving by that
human kind. The entire forebear divine religions endorsed it and Islam
emphasized on it.
According to the critical and important rank of marriage in the social system,
the holy legislator took deep care of it where it has detailed its rules and
defined its judgments from A to Z: from being just and idea to the phase of
completion, when the married partners enjoy each other.
Then the holy legislator gave the structure of marriage extra importance and
embraced it with deep attention from the beginning until it is ended by death or
other circumstances.
The holy legislator did not give people a chance to put all the systems and
judgments they want and establish rules and basis they believe to be right.
However, the legislator embraced it in grace and as pity upon the slaves,
setting its basis, systems and judgments, being aware of the slaves’ incapacity
of putting the good design over which a staid social entity is built and where
there is no place for weakness or languor. All these elements embrace the
marriage with this holy care and provide it with protection, in a way that makes
the partners feel closely related with a holy bond that includes religion with
all its sanctity any time…anywhere. Consequently, it is peace that each one
finds willingly in the other and therefore, they will apply all the judgments
with great consent and relief:
{And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that
you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most
surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.}(Surat Al-Room; 21)
Also the Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his Household) said:
“There is no greater benefit for a person after Islam than a Muslim wife who
pleases him when looking at her, obeys him when ordered and preserves herself
and his money when he’s absent.”
The Husband’s position:
The Husband is considered to be the head of the family. If he interprets the
supreme characteristics recommended by Islam, he will be the essence of this
family’s success and permanence; if not it will be the total opposite.
Therefore, the precious religion intervened to determine the characteristics and
the basis in the light of which a choice must be made, in order to organize a
healthy community taking into consideration the position of the husband from
what Allah (all praised) said:
{Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to
excel others and because they spend out of their property}(Surat Al-Nisa;
34)
On the other hand, the destiny of a woman in the hereafter as well as in this
world highly depends on the consent of her husband, as Imam Al-Baker (p.b.u.h)
said:
“There is no intercessor for a woman more successful for Allah than the
consent of her husband.”
The Wife’s position:
The best benefit after religiosity a man can get is a good wife who helps him to
draw near to Allah and find happiness in this world. She is also the best of
life’s pleasures and one of the greatest causes to happiness, in a way that her
role was never restricted to the special relationship (between a man and his
wife) in the eyes of Allah (all praised). Moreover, she is the family’s pillar
and the lady of the house who helps her man and supports him to reach together
the goal that Allah had set for them, and that is what the Prophet (Allah’s
prayers and peace upon Him and his Household) formulated:
“There is no greater benefit for a person after being devoted to Allah than a
good wife.”
Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h):
“A woman is a necklace so look at what you are wearing (choose it well).”
This is a clear statement that defines her position and an invitation to think
deeply and take enough time before making the decision. So what are the
foundations over which we must make our choice once they are found, and refuse
once they are lost?
This is what we will discover through presenting the characteristics in chapter
two.
The Benefits of Marriage:
1- Marriage is a rest for the soul:
Marriage is considered to be a factor of rest and psychological tranquility for
both man and woman, and that’s why we find one of them incomplete without the
other. In fact, they both form a complete entity as each one depends on the
other: in reference to the Holy Koran and natural and psychological sciences,
the woman is the rest and stability home for the man and vice versa. We also
realize that the description of (rest) has been used by the Holy Book when
talking about the creation of the bless of night to sleep, as well as the
creation of couples. On the other side, the status of a single person is like
someone who misses comfort and sleep and this is just a small part of what Allah
(all praised) indicated in the following Ayah:
{And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that
you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion}(Surat
Al-Room; 21)
Since there are consequences for all rights and duties, Allah (all praised) made
love and compassion, so that the position of each partner is clarified in this
blessed combination as Allah (all praised) and his Prophet (Allah’s prayers and
peace upon Him and his Household) loved it to be.
Allah created them on this state of love and compassion, and unless we don’t
break this stability factor that brings on mutual tranquility, the couple will
naturally share this influence and how miserable is a house that lacks of this
factor. At that point the situation is similar to the insomniac and we all know
to which degree of mental disturbance and fatigue, poor physical strength and
rough imagination power he can get.
2- Each partner is an adornation for the other
As the Koran points out, both the man and the woman represent the stability
factor for the other indicating that each one is an adornation for the other.
Allah (all praised) says:
{They are coverings for you and you are coverings for them}(Surat Al-Bakara;
187)
The word “coverings” has three meanings and one of them is “adornation” which
marks that a woman is an adornation for the man just as a cloth.
The same thing applies on the man regarding the woman, and this is proven by the
word “adornation” mentioned in the Koran when talking about coverings, as Allah
(all praised) said:
{O Descendants of Adam! Adorn yourself when you go to the mosque, and eat and
drink, and do not cross limits; indeed He does not like the transgressors.}(Surat
Al-Aaraf; 31)
What is referred to here is an order to wear beautiful clothes when going out
heading to the group or Friday prayers and taking care of neatness and
adornation.
In this light, the meaning of {They are coverings for you and you are
coverings for them} is that women are an adornation for men and vice versa.
The other meaning of the Ayah is that marriage immunizes the man and the woman
against perversion.
The third meaning shows that both the man and the woman are a veil for each
other, and since the honorable Ayah affirms that they are an adornation for each
other, then this adornation must be preserved as our Lord Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h)
says:
“A woman is a necklace, so look at what you’re wearing”, like mentioned
before.
Therefore, she must be chosen carefully, and then the Imam (p.b.u.h) continues
to talk about the importance of choosing:
“Nothing compares to women’s value, not for the best of them or for the worst
one. As for the best of them gold or silver cannot reach her value… she’s rather
better than gold and silver; and as for the worst, she cannot reach the value of
dirt….dirt is better than her.”
The same concept pertains to the man: if he had good manners and his wife showed
consent, then he is a big bless for her even bigger that the whole world.
Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) explains here that both partners must appreciate the
greatness of the bless that surrounds them if they live in harmony and each one
was an adornation for the other.
3- Home of companionship and joy:
In addition to being a rest and an adornation for each other, both married
partners present an entertainment and an amusement factor, and it’s actually the
best element especially if the house is exactly like what Islam wanted and if
the conduct of the partners is conform to Islam’s constructions.
Therefore, successful husbands are the ones who are impatient to go home after a
long day at work, so that they feel comfort, ease their minds from all the
problems and get recharged with energy and vitality.
It’s the same case for the successful wife who is keen to wait her husband, to
open the door for him and take all the exhaustion and pain off him with a look
and a smile on her face. Such an honorable reception carries in its depths the
most wonderful meanings that express the supreme role of the wife and her
cooperation with him in his absence or presence.
That’s what the Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his Household)
said:
“There is no greater benefit for a person after Islam than a Muslim wife who
pleases him when looking at her.”
We can realize how the honorable speeches regard the good wife as being better
than silver and gold, actually there’s nothing more important than her after
Islam.
So a man who is married to this kind of women and a woman who has a good
husband, as each one spreads joy in the heart of the other, must praise Allah
(all praised) endlessly for being blessed with such a partner.
What Islam wants is a marital house emanating joy, stability, comfort and a hope
of a thriving and promising future.
The best shape of joy is the friendly company between the wife and her husband,
as each one should be a source of joy to the other.
Once came a man to the most Preferable Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon
Him and his Household) and told him about his wife who reflected all the good
features we mentioned that embrace him with joy and remove tiredness and pain
from his heart. So the Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his
Household) said:
“…The best of your women is the flexible and obedient who can’t close her
eyes to sleep if her husband is upset until he forgives her and who preserves
him in his absence. That woman is one of Allah’s workers and the worker of Allah
never looses.”
That woman is like an Angel with a great job and reward, and it’s also the same
case for a man with similar features.
On the other hand, if love vanishes from the house, it is then polluted not only
for the man a wife, but all the family members will be affected.
Consequently, whenever we see children who appear to have lack of will and
talents and a weak memory that gets weaker and weaker, we must know then that
it’s our defect: Usually, the parents are the responsible ones of any
disturbances that children manifest, as when a house lacks of stability and
tranquility, it becomes a prison for a woman and a breakdown factor not a home
for joy anymore.
Sometimes, a man feels like staying out with his friends until midnight instead
of coming home; other times, a woman can’t stand looking at her husband’s face.
The reason behind this is the destruction of that condition required in the
marital house and place of residence, through hurting words and inappropriate
demands.
What is actually required is for that condition (of love) to remain between the
partners even when they are old, when each one remains beautiful in the eye of
the other. So, we must not picture that beauty comes with adorning only: the
true beauty of a person is only perceived in the eye of the other.
4- Making a good family
Making a family is a matter of great importance with countless dimensions and
benefits Islam had set for it. It the face of this, satisfying our instinct is
diminished, despite the fact that it’s a required thing but through the right
path like Allah (all praised) wanted it to be.
If we take a look back in history, we know that there has always been a family
for Man. The first family was made of Adam and Eve, and this innate phenomenon
will remain until the end of time. Islam promised the family who gives birth to
a good healthy generation, a great reward as it was mentioned in the speeches of
the Pure Progeny (p.b.u.t). It’s a fair enough advantage for marriage to be a
source for that, even if it didn’t have any other advantages, so what can we say
about the great ones we mentioned before?!
5- Refining the Human Soul
One of the great benefits of Islam is that it represents a strong and supporting
factor to apply the Islamic program involving refining our soul, adorning it
with good morals and removing from it all the bad ethics.
Through marriage, a person can isolate the Devil and its soldiers from his
thoughts and action. In this purpose, Islam incites us to get married in a young
age as it protects the soul from any sin and helps to educate it and place it on
the right track.
The most Preferable Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his
Household) says:
“Any man who gets married in a young age his devil vociferates: Oh! Tragedy!
He hindered his faith from me.”
In another Hadith:
“When a slave gets married, he would have completed the other half of
religion so he should fear Allah in the other half.”
According to this, who can abstain from making half the way to draw near to
Allah (all praised)?!
Also, there is an adoration part for marriage, as we read:
“Anyone who gets married is given half of the worship.”
Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) said:
“Two Rakaats (of a prayer) performed by a married man are better than a
single man praying all night and fasting all day.”
When talking about the sleep of a married man and what Allah (all praised)
rewarded him, the Messenger of Islam (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his
Household) says:
“A married man sleeping is better to Allah than a single man praying and
fasting.”
6- Increasing livelihood
Allah (all praised) says:
{And enjoin in marriage those among you who are not married, and your
deserving slaves and bondwomen; if they are poor, Allah will make them wealthy
by His munificence; and Allah is Most Capable, All Knowing.}(Surat
Al-Noor;32)
And the most Preferable Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace upon Him and his
Household) says:
“Get married and make a family as it increases your livelihood.”
In contrast, it has been mentioned to dispraise those who don’t get married as
they fear poverty, and wait until they are old and are able to have a house, a
car and a bank account…
It’s a shame for them to get married and live in a rented house or before owning
a car, in addition to other material demands that put obstacles in the way of
marriage for some people.
Our lord Imam Al-Sadek (p.b.u.h) says:
“Anyone who leaves marriage in fear of poverty, he would mistrust Allah (all
praised). Allah (all praised) says: {If they are poor, Allah will make them
wealthy by His munificence} (Surat Al-Noor; 32)
In a Hadith we read:
“The one who leaves marriage in fear of financial support is not of us.”
From this point, we can know that the phenomenon of postponing marriage for many
difficult and out fetched issues is not healthy. Actually, the Islamic vision
encourages early marriage with respecting the required conditions and reasoning,
like competence, courtesy, religiosity, good ethics and cooperation over
devotion.