Why To Get Married?

The Religious Encourapement

Marriage in Islam is built on a contract called «marriage contract». Once this contract is held between a man and a woman, it implies that a group of dues and duties has become special to each one of them i.e. once they agree on the marriage contract, this means that they have agreed on a certain pattern of relationship and on a group of standards.

The Most High Allah says, {And Allah has made for you wives of your own kind, and has made you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favor of Allah (by not worshipping Allah alone)}¹

Islam considers marriage a positive and perfectional issue for the human being; it is related that The Noblest Prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, «No building constructed in Islam is more liked by The Most High Allah than marriage is.»²

The Islamic message highly encourapes the people to get married and to build the family. Moreover, it gives the married person more privileges than those which are given to the single person, to the extent that the sleep of the married person is better than the night worship of the single person, as is related in attribution to Allah’s prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household), «The married person who is asleep is with Allah better than the single person who is fasting and worshipping Allah during the night.»³ Besides, all the worships of the married person are many degrees better than those of the single person, as we deduce from the following narrative ascribed to Imam Jaafar Al-Sadik (Allah’s peace bestowed upon him), «Two bows performed by a married man are better than a single man who stays up the night in worship and fasts the day.»⁴

The Islamic Aims of Family Construction

When we refer to the noble narratives, we find the following one related to Allah’s prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household): «Once the human being gets married, he has done with half of his religion; then, let him be devout as regards the other half.»⁵ Here is another narrative ascribed to him (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) and shows a greater benefit for the youths: «Whenever a youth gets married while being in the stage of youthfulness, his devil uproars, ‘Alas! Alas! He has guarded from me two thirds of his religion.’ Then, let the human being be devout as regards the remaining third.»⁶

One may say that this is an encouragement to get married, yet it is not so: it is a mere description of the actual state of affairs. Before we get into the details of the subjective elements of marriage, they do with half of the religion because they represent an actual protection from a group of complications and problems and impediments once the marriage takes place between the man and the woman. Marriage, therefore, achieves a group of the religious aims.

Then, what are the aims which the doctrine wants to achieve by means of marriage and marriage construction? How is that marriage represents half or two thirds of the religion? There are several noble Qur’anian Ayas which indicate these aims:

The First Aya

The first Aya is: {And among His Signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them…}⁷ The Most High Allah states the aim and justification of marriage in the term {…that you may find repose in them…}. This term implies stability, reassurance, and comfort. Marriage leads to stability, and this stability in turn is comprehensive and various:

1- On the Psychological Level: Once the human being becomes comfortable and lives a state of affection and harmony with respect to all the topics that have to do with the psychological factor, this will reflect on all his life. It is related that Allah’s prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, «Marry off the single people among you, so that Allah will improve their natures, increase their livings, and add to their vitalities.»⁸

2- On the Biological Level: Both man and woman have specific biological needs which can not be handled save through marriage which leads to the stability of the body and provides it with its needs.

3- On the Social Level: Marriage is a social skan [repose] because communicating with others through the relationships of the marriage enables the human being to build a family and to interact with the others.

4- On the Financial Level: Marriage represents also a financial repose, for it includes an organization of the daily performance of the family life.

5- On the Administrative Level: Marriage is an administrative repose which involves a coordination of the roles between the husband and the wife.

All types of stability are, therefore, present in marriage i.e. psychological, biological, social, financial, and administrative repose. This is so because marriage was not legislated in order to handle one aspect only. Many have been mistaken in considering marriage as a solution meant to handle one aspect only. Considering marriage with respect to one aspect only rather than all its aspects leads to breaking off the repose because repose resembles the columns which the building can not stand erect without one or some of them.

Consequently, any disorder which befalls the martial life may be due to the way of thinking from the very beginning. In case one man is asked, «Why did you get married?» and in case he answers, «I got married because I want someone to serve me», this implies that he has considered only one aspect of this marriage. Likewise, in case one woman is asked, «Why did you get married?» and in case she answers, «I got married because I could no more endure staying at my parents», then each one of them has considered only one aspect of marriage, thus neglecting the other aspects.

Henceforth, the marriage institution which is established by the husband and the wife may be exposed to problems, with each one of them stating that he/ she is not having repose in marriage. This is due to that they have not completed all the fundamentals of repose which are common and various; accordingly, they must work together in order to achieve the repose between them.

The Second Aya

The second Aya is: {They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her)] and you are Libas for them…}⁹ This noble Aya resembles both the husband and the wife as being a cloth for each other; here are three benefits which we can deduce:

1- Each one of them is a fort for the other since the cloth protects the one putting it on from the coldness in the winter and from the heat of the sun in the summer. Each mate performs such a role for the other i.e. the wife is a fort for the husband, and he is a fort for her. This is confirmed by the following narrative related in ascription to Allah’s prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household): «Let the man who likes to meet Allah pure and purified meet Him with a wife.»¹⁰ By means of marriage, the human being protects himself from slipping after his desires and instincts because it provides for his natural need which The Most High Allah planted in him.

2- Each one of them is a cover for the other. The cloth covers the body and hides its private parts; likewise, the wife fills in the gaps which the husband suffers from as regards the moral instincts and the financial defects, and so does he.

The instincts are actually characteristics implanted in the human being, so they are called instincts [ghara’iz] i.e. because they are implanted [gharaza] in the human being since his creation, such as: the species instinct (the human being has an inclination to his own species) which one of its aspects are the sexual relationship and the affection between the child and his/ her mother and between the two brothers i.e. the inclination to the human species. We, therefore, recognize in the daily happenings the natural reflection of the relationship with the brother, the husband, the neighbor, the comrade, the wife, and so on.

For instance, we recognize, without exerting any effort or suffering any hardship, that a special emotion naturally originates in the human being with his just being someone’s son. We must not wander about the presence of such love because it is implanted in us and because it is harmonious with the nature which The Most Glorified Allah created in us. From the aspects of the species instinct are love, the human relationships, and sex… This instinct manifests the inclination towards the other person whomever he is, and however his color and shape are.

In addition to the species instinct, there is the instinct of survival which is manifested in greed, covetousness about and attachment to this life, and self defense. These are indications of that man likes and clings to survival; because of this, he fights in order to survive.

The instincts are constitutional issues accompanying the creation of the human being; they can be cultivated by means of education and determination, yet they deviate in case they are left without education and determination. In case the human being does not fulfill the demands of the instinct in a correct manner, they get deviated and lead to psychological and social crises yet do not kill. Suppose that one person does not have a father, does not have a child, is not married, or the like, this will not make him die because these are not organic needs. The issue of the instincts is an issue of misery and happiness. When we talk about marriage, we are in fact talking about one of the aspects of the instinct; in other words, we are talking about a practice which may lead to happiness or to misery.

3- The cloth is an adornment for the one putting it on. Consequently, the wife is considered an adornment for her husband, and so is the husband considered for his wife. Being an adornment originates from the one mate’s conducts and character in the society which will absolutely affect the other mate and its appearance in the society; moreover, it originates from the one mate’s relationship with and introducing of the other mate in the society.

The Third Aya

The third Aya is {And Allah has made for you wives of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favor of Allah (by not worshipping Allah alone)}¹¹ Increasing the believing progeny and the continuation of life constitute a major aim also; it is related that Allah’s prophet (Allah’s prayers and peace bestowed upon him and his Household) said, «What prevents the believer from getting married? Perhaps Allah will grant him a child who will fill the earth with ‘There is no Allah but Allah’.»¹²

1- The Noble Qur’an/ Al-Nahl [The Bees] Surah/ Aya 72
2- Dala’el Al-Sheeaa [The Proofs of the Shiite]/ Part Fourteen/ Page 3
3- Meezan Al-Hekma [The Standard of Sagacity]/Mohammadi Al-Rishahri/ Discourse
4- Meezan Al-Hekma/ Discourse 7812
5- Meezan Al-Hekma/ Discourse 7807
6- Bihar Al-Anwar [The Seas of Lights]/ Part Hundred/ Page 221
7- The Noble Qur’an/ Al-Rum [The Romans] Surah/ Aya 21
8- Meezan Al-Hekma [The Standard of Sagacity]/Mohammadi Al-Rishahri/ Part Two/ Page 1179
9- The Noble Qur’an/ Al-Baqara [The Cow] Surah/ Aya 187
10- Meezan Al-Hekma [The Standard of Sagacity]/ Mohammadi Al-Rishahri/ Part Two/ Page 1178
11- The Noble Qur’an/ Al-Nahl [The Bees] Surah/ Aya 72
12- Wasa’el Al-Sheeaa [The Means of the Shiite]/ Part Twenty/ Page 14